I Can See It From Here

"Who is Chris Stevens? Who AM I? Who are any of us? Are we one person fixed at birth? Do we grow like a snowball coming down the mountainside of life, or can we change, shed our skin? A caterpillar becomes the butterfly, leaving the remains of his former self behind. I look at my yearbook photo--Wheeling Central Catholic High School, Class of 81--and I wonder who that stranger is. Dang if I know. Maybe that's the point, maybe we're not supposed to know, maybe that's what this earthly joy ride's all about. Like Robert Frost said, 'We dance round in a ring and suppose, But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.'"

-Chris In the Morning, Northern Exposure

Feliz Cinco De Mayo! I can't say we are having any fiestas up here but the thought did occur after Mike called this morning and reminded me.  All that unraveled today was what I coined "Blood and Tears" De Mayo!  Maybe something was in the water, or it could be the circle around the sun right now but I had several cryers and two bleeders.  What a peculiar day! I suppose that's just fitting considering last night's fiasco down on the beach.  It was such a glorious evening I just wanted to run toward the mountains with the sun on my face, dogs at my feet, wind in my hair... you can picture the scenario.  I failed to take into account however the multitude of mini-rivers springing up from the melting tundra snow, flowing down across the beach toward the sea.  It was these trickling cascades of water that were washing away not only the solid beach ice but also the frozen gritty sand that had been deceivingly keeping me surefooted.  Of course about 1/4 mile down the beach the previously sloppy but sandy surface morfed into a slick, slip n slide and yup, you already know, out went my feet from under me and slam to my knee.  "OOOOOWWWWeeee", I whimper scrambling to my feet and looking around to see if anyone witnessed my gracefulness.  Nope, just the dogs and they seemed unphased, galloping about slapping the silty, wet mud all over each other.  But it was such a beautiful night that I couldn't let one little fall stop me from inhaling my surroundings...I got up and kept on trucking until....splat!  Wham! Down again on the same knee! 'Kneedless' to say I didn't jump up again as quickly that time.  Ouuuuch!  I stumbled forward and for some unintelligent reason decided to keep on going...until Swoosh!  Smack!  AHHHHH! Yep, that was my other knee.  I laid there in the mud for a moment trying to identify why I had thought it was a good idea to continue on.  Through the pain I was relieved that nobody saw me.  Attempting to climb to my feet, mud from head to toe futilely wiping at it only succeeding in smearing it everywhere,  I winced to myself and looked up.  To see the chuckling, smile filled face of a local hunter who had enjoyed a front row seat to my stupidity here in the middle of nowhere.  Of course, I wallowed around a bit longer hoping the pain would lessen.  I offered a feeble wave and motioned that I would be limping back momentarily, yep just as soon as I could hobble to my feet again...it was a long, long trip home.  Why do I share this story???  Because if it makes you laugh even a little then my black and blue knees weren't for naught.

I'm still at school.  It's 6 pm. The girls are trying on prom dresses to get ready for the big day next Friday!

Tomorrow is our final sleep over party at my house.  It's gonna be bittersweet! And Traci is coming to visit from Eek so that will be fun!  Last time I'm gonna see her until who knows when too... man, I just don't like all these endings.

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in! 
Psalm 139:1