Tuesday, May 17, 2011

But I'm Not Ready!


Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos.  ~Charles M. Schulz

How lucky (blessed) I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. 
~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

 
Head Start Graduation
 

 
Connie and I attended the head start graduation on Saturday since we had several of the kiddos as our students this year too.  It was adorable as you can imagine.  One of our little guys only lasted about 2 minutes in his chair before leaping out throwing off his miniature cap and gown and racing around the gym. Others turned around to chat with their neighbors provided proud parents a great photo opportunity of their backs.  Some rolled around on the floor and examined the underneath part of their chairs.  Little kids are hilarious.  They enjoyed the luxury of the night before's fancy prom decorations to boot.  Above is one of my friend's boys, she has 3 and they  are all absolutely adorable.  Sam didn't graduate this year but his big brother did so he was all dressed up for the occasion:)  Sam is in the younger head start however, every time I would go to the head start I couldn't resist visiting with him about his trucks and toys.  It took a few times but eventually he'd chatter back to me about what he was doing.  Then anytime I would see him around the village we'd smile, visit and wave to each other.  Maybe it's because he reminds me so much of my own baby brother Sam but he just stole my heart.  His mom Elena, tells me I'm not the only one of course!  Anyway you can imagine my delight when Elena came up to me at head start grad and said he wants his picture with me!  "Really!"  I smiled feeling so special!  Well that makes two of us:)  Cheese!  

So a couple of months ago I felt that tug to learn a song in Yupik to sing before I left Quinhagak.  Of course I have a hard enough time pronouncing the simplest words, my students will tell you that, as their most belly rolling laughs have been purely at my feeble attempts to pronounce numbers!  So when God gave me 'the tug' I quickly brushed it off certain He must be joking..."I'll just sing something in English, I justified myself." Mercifully 'the tug' remained.  Shamefully I continued for a month ignoring it.  Then one Sunday during church (I mean after, surely she didn't say it during;) Connie turned to me and said matter of factly, "You should learn a song in Yupik to sing at church before you go."  Ok, Rachel if you won't listen to the still small voice maybe you'll listen to an audible one God seemed to be saying.  "I know," I managed then I continued on with the business of living and not addressing His obvious direction.  It wasn't because I didn't want to but because I knew I couldn't. I can't even contort my mouth to make the sounds that this language requires, it comes out all garbled and backwards.  My response to God?...It's a lovely thought Lord, but you simply must not understand how hard it is to speak this language much less sing in it!  I'm much more comfortable with English...ahum, Quyana.  The tug continued.  The more I defied and argued about the impossibility and how stupid I would make both He and I look the harder the tug. One week left when Connie asked again, "Have you picked a song?"  Truth was I knew the song all along I.  It was the only song that was sung in English that very first Sunday in Quinhagak when I was mistaken for a fish plant worker because of my boots, when I cried through the service and had wanted to get back on a 6 seater and go home, when I followed the sound of the bell to get to the church, when I met Fannie and Jerilyn, when my journey here truly began.  That was the song God was requesting I sing back to my friends in Quinhagak in their native language.  It made mysterious beautiful sense but I couldn't even pretend to begin to even fake a song in Yugtan and if I did no one and I mean no one was going to understand me.  "Remember how I told you in the beginning I knew you couldn't do it but I could?"  God again reminded me,  "Well that fits here too."  Tail between my legs, humbled and forgiven,  Saturday afternoon before my last time in church I sat down first with one of our 6th grade students to begin the overwhelming process of trying to pick apart the song in the Yupik hymnal into smaller chunks of syllables that made sense in my brain.  When she had to go God sent Jerilyn to rescue me. Selflessly she spent 3 hours helping me weed through the rest of the song and be sure I could pronounce the words as best as possible.  From there I called on one of my cross country runners and ( recently crowned Prom Queen) Renae to help me sing it.  Again for 3 hours we sang it over and over, she agreed to sing it with me in church and it seemed fitting again since the last time I sang at church was with her mom earlier this year.  Renae was a Godsend quite literally.  Bless her heart she even spent the night at my house so we could be up practicing in the morning before church.  I cried through the morning service but managed to make it through, thanks to Renae.  Just like that first service in August of 2009 that I cried though.  Cayastic Structure Beth Moore would say, like bookends to a season in my life. Wow, I'm going to miss this place and my friends here.
Anyway I had to share because it was a miracle seriously. We were requested to come back and sing at the evening service...so I got all nervous again but I'm thankful God gave me the opportunity and ability to give back.  He is so good. 
Akkutai Asirtut Kaneryaram
(Where He Leads Me, I Will Follow)
This is the Real Yugtan Version from the Brown Hymnal #230
Akkutai asirtut kaneryaram
Ninerkinrulutingtlu yum irtsakruane
Umyugatlu asirtuk Jesusam
Itlitlu natlunaitlkutaugrkaulune.
CHORUS
Natmun tsiulitranun
Natmun tsiulitlranum 
Maligtsikaka 
Natmun tsiulitranun
Natmun tsiulitlranum 
Maligtsikaka, ang, maligtsikaka
Maligtuluku Jesusak

Nitnirkuktlu Jesusm nasvatlra, 
Nitikinrulunetlu kinkame tamin.
Yugunirketlu taminun ilavnun
Itlitlu natlunaitlkutaugarkaulune

Niske kaneryarai taits whangnun
Umyuarniulrianetlu mernuirutsikatse
Maligtakuluku ukferlutin
Ingluarlutintlu anirturtim tunginun. 

Below is the Rachel version of Yugtan phonics that Jerilyn painstakingly pronounced over and over with me word by word on Saturday afternoon so I could sing this at church on Sunday as my good bye to the Quinhagak Congregation that I have been able to be part of over the last two years. Anyone who speak Yupik will get a kick out of my hooked on phonics rendition.

Ahk –koo-die     ah-ser-dut    gah-nugh-yagh-ghum
Neat-nergh-ggun-gggoe-loot-den-shlu    you’m  Icgh-jaw-kwa-nee,  
oom-yoa-ghaw-shlu  ah-ser-duk    Jesus-aam  
ischle-schlu   naw-schloon-nie-sch’gut-dow-ghah-gow-loony
neat-nergh-gok-shlu   Jesus-aam   nuzz-vasch-ha,
Neat-nergh-ggun-gggoe-loo-ne-shlu   kin-kam-ee   dum-een.
Yough-nigh-geey-shlu   dum-ee-noon   ee-love-noon
ischlee-schlu   naw-schloon-niesch-gut-dow-ghah-gow-loony
nee-ski  gah-nugh-yagh-eye   die-gee  whung-noon
oom-yoagh-new’ll-ghaaa-nee-shlu     mugh-new-hut-gee-gaw-gee
mall-igch-dah-goo-loo-goo   ook-fugh-loo-den
ing-lawgh-looten-shlu   ah-nigh-dugh-dum    doo’ng-ee-noon
Nut-moon   jew-lisch-ha-noon
Mall-ligch-gee-ka-ka
Nut-moon   jew-lisch-ha-noon
Mall-ligch-loo-goo   Jesus-aak

The English Translation 
This was the version that I heard when I went to church my first full day in Quin.  It was really the only English spoken during the service that day.  


VERSE #1
I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
"Take thy cross and follow, follow Me."
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
I'll go with Him, with Him all the way.

VERSE #2
I'll go with Him thro' the garden,
I'll go with Him thro' the garden,
I'll go with Him thro' the garden,
I'll go with Him, with Him all the way.
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
I'll go with Him, with Him all the way.

VERSE #3
I'll go with Him thro' the judgement
I'll go with Him thro' the judgement
I'll go with Him thro' the judgement
I'll go with Him, with Him all the way.
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
I'll go with Him, with Him all the way.

VERSE #4
He will give me grace and glory,
He will give me grace and glory,
He will give me grace and glory,
And go with me, with me all the way.
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
I'll go with Him, with Him all the way.

Karen says she is uploading it to YouTube she recorded us on her phone during the service so that link may be coming soon... stay tuned. Oh wait, this just in, it's here. Click on the link below if you want to hear us sing it in Yugtan. Blessings:)





The Pic I snapped of my whole Quinhagak Church Family!

Youth Service Choir Singing Sunday Night
Renae and I after 3 hours of coaching me in Yugtan

"If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast."
Psalm 139:9-10

1 comment:

  1. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

    I am so proud of you Rachel. Love you dearly, Auntie Shelly

    ReplyDelete